Cheese Pleeze

It's been over a month since I've had any cheese.

Yes, I feel good.

Yes, I'm not bloated.

Yes, I would kill an orphan or stab a nun for a wedge of brie.

This was tasty and all, but look at that cubist stuff trying to pass itself off as cheese.

I made a grilled portobello panini with broccoli pesto and some tired ass soy cheese that claims to "melt like real cheese."

Nothin' melts like real cheese, 'cept REAL CHEESE.

I'm gonna treat myself to some mozzarella today.