Horticulture

Dorothy Parker said, "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

But perhaps you can convince her to make that delicious sauce that is her namesake.

I speak, of course, of puttanesca. 

After some research, I found that the name "originated in Naples after the local women of easy virtue. Pasta Puttanesca means 'The way a whore would make it', but the reason why the dish gained such a name is debated. One possibility is that the name is a reference to the sauce's hot, spicy flavor and smell. Another is that the dish was offered to prospective customers at a low price to entice them into a house of ill repute. According to chef Jeff Smith of the Frugal Gourmet, its name came from the fact that it was a quick cheap meal that prostitutes could prepare between customers."

All I know is that it is fast, cheap, and easy.  Kinda like a ...

Penne alla Puttanesca

I add wilted dandelion greens, rapini, or spinach into this dish to add something green. But, it's not necessary to enjoy this spicy, salty dish.

3/4 cup grape tomatoes, halved
1/3 cup black olives, halved (preferably oil cured)
8 anchovy fillets, diced
2 gloves of garlic
2 Tbl capers, drained
A healthy pinch of crushed red pepper
2-3 Tbl olive oil
1 lb whole wheat penne
2 cups of leafy green things (optional)

Prepare pasta according to the directions on the package in heavily salted water.

While the pasta cooks, in a large saute pan, heat oil and gently sweat the tomatoes (about five minutes).  Season with a bit of salt and the crushed red pepper.  As the skins start to pop, add garlic, olives, anchovies, and greens (if using).  At the last minute, add capers and cook for one more minute.  Drain pasta and add to the pan.  Toss well.  Serve with a touch of parmigiano.

The Waxman Challenge

Last night was the premiere of a new show called Master Chef.

The conceit is simple:  home cooks strut their stuff for a shot at $250,000 and a book deal while dealing with the snarky critiques of Gordon Ramsey and a couple of highly respectable, yet terribly egocentric, guest judges.  I am totally hooked, and I am wondering why I am not on it.

During last night's episode, I actually was quite tearful.  Here were a group of stay at home moms, software programmers, and everyday Joe's risking national ridicule all because each share a common passion: food.  They shared their "signature dishes," prepared with varying degrees of success and finesse all with the hopes of taking one step closer to winning the coveted prize.

Of course, I was inspired.

Flashback to Barbuto.  J and I were having our perfect New York al fresco dining moment:  I was desperately trying to figure out how to snap a photo with Obi Wan KaWaxman, and J was attempting to fashion a tranquilizer dart out of a bottle of Pelegrino and some chili peppers to keep me from bum rushing the man to get a hug.  And then the chicken came.

This was no ordinary chicken.  Succulent, juicy, and filled with a verdant freshness that made you understand that this man had been touched by God...or had spent some serious quality time figuring out how to cook barnyard foul.

So...inspired by the Zen-like Grill Master and the hopeful everyday cooks on a reality show, here is my interpretation of Waxman's Herb Chicken

Herb Chicken a la Duff a la Waxman

1 4lb chicken
1 yellow onion, quartered
1 lemon, quartered

For the Slatherin' Goodness

3 garlic cloves
4 anchovy filets
1 Tbl capers
1 tsp fresh thyme
2 Tbl fresh parsley
2 Tbl fresh basil
zest and juice of 1 lemon
1/4 cup olive oil
salt 'n pepper

Preheat oven to 400.  Combine all of the Slatherin' Goodness ingredients in your trusty mini food processor.  Whir away until it becomes a green, fragrant pool of love.

Place chicken breast side up in a cast iron skillet.  Stuff cavity with onion and lemon.  Now slather that chicky with the Slatherin' Goodness, making sure you get underneath the skin as well as covering the entire bird.  Cover with foil and roast for 50 minutes.  Remove foil and cook for an additional ten minutes to crisp up that bird.

Allow to rest for a bit before carving.  Picture yourself sitting outside in the Meat Packing District with your Valentine and enjoy.

The carnage.

Don't fear the 'chovy!

Consider the anchovy.

It's small, fuzzy, and salty. And most people hate them.

To those philistines, I say, "Man up!"

Anchovies are your secret weapon in the kitchen. They are slipped into sauces and dressings to add a nutty, slightly briny quality without you even knowing they are there. You just know what you are savoring is deliciousness on a plate. Many times anchovies are one of the star ingredients in a dish like puttanesca or delightful puff pastry stuffed with the little suckers. Other times their presence goes undetected, as in a green goddess dressing. Below are a couple of ideas for you to start incorporating them into your cooking. Be brave! Give 'em a try!


The Best Damn Caesar Dressing Ever

6 anchovy fillets (oil packed)
2-3 garlic cloves, chopped
1 egg
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1 tsp capers
1 lemon, zest and juice
1 1/2Tbl Worcestershire sauce
a couple of dashes of hot sauce (I like Chipotle Tabasco)
ground pepper to taste
3/4 cup olive oil

In a small food processor, combine all ingredients except for oil. Mash it up good, until garlic, capers, and anchovies have become a paste. With the motor running, slowly add oil until dressing has thickened. Pour over torn Romaine lettuce and toss with shaved pecorino or parmigiano cheese and finely chopped anchovies. Garnish with additional cheese and grape tomatoes (optional) and serve with crostini.

Green Goddess Dressing

You don't need a food processor for this, but why spend your time choppin' when you could get to eatin'.

3-4 anchovies
1 shallot (or 2 green onions), chopped
1 lemon, zest and juice
1 Tbl fresh tarragon
1 Tbl fresh mint
2 Tbl fresh basil
2 Tbl fresh parsley
1/2 cup sour cream
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/2 tsp white pepper

Throw all that stuff in a small food processor, and whir, baby, whir! This is great on a simple wedge salad or on mixed greens with radishes, green onions, red peppers, and oil cured olives. (I like to throw in some blue cheese and grilled chicken to make it a meal)

Roasted Cauliflower with Lemon Anchovy Sauce

1 head cauliflower, broken down to florets
2 Tbl olive oil (plus 1 Tbl for sauce)
1 tsp. celery salt
1/2 tsp ground pepper
3 anchovy fillets
2 Tbl. butter
juice of 1/2 lemon
1/4 cup chopped parsley

Preheat oven to 400. Arrange florets on a baking sheet, drizzle with 2 Tbl olive oil, celery salt and pepper. Toss to coat and throw that bad lad in the oven for about 30 minutes (or until caramelized).
In a small sauce pan over low heat, add remaining oil, butter and anchovies. Using a wooden spoon, mash on those 'chovies until they have dissolved into the butter and oil. Add lemon juice and parsley, give it a good stir, and pour over cauliflower.

This is a great side with grilled salmon or turkey kielbasa.

Radishes with Anchovy Butter and Arugula

1 baguette, cut into 1/2" thick slices
1/2 stick butter, room temperature
3 anchovy fillets
2 Tbl chopped parsley
black pepper to taste
8-10 radishes, thinly sliced
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
arugula

Preheat oven to 400. Brush baguette slices with olive oil and toast those suckers up on a baking sheet. About 10 minutes. Allow to cool completely.

While the bread is toasting away, reduce by half the vinegar over a medium heat until nice and thick. Allow to cool. Congratulations! You have just made a reduction.

In a small food processor, combine butter, anchovies, pepper, and parsley. Pulse until all ingredients are good and mixed up. Spread butter mixture over cooled crostini. Top with radish slices, arugula, and drizzle with balsamic reduction. This is a perfect little bite for a cocktail party.